'They all decided that my name, Ciarán, is too hard to pronounce': Irish teenager moves to the USA, classmates try to call him 'Connor' as his American name against his will

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 30, 2025 3:00 PM EST

Most nicknames are bequeathed onto the nicknamed by others. They are not the ones who typically come up with their nicknames, nor are said nicknames natural and fitting from the word go. When I was in middle school, I bequeathed one of my best friends with the nickname "Beef." Why she still talks to me after that, I have no idea. But for some reason, because I was so insistent and it was objectively amusing, she embraced the Beefy side of her and even incorporated this nickname into her Instagram handle. 

Nicknames often serve the function of making one's name easier to say quickly or easier to pronounce. Beef's real name is Remelee, and going from three to one syllable was a real time saver. Sometimes, it's just a display of affection. I call my friend Aurora "Rory" sometimes because I have so much love in my heart for her, and a niche nickname fortifies that. 

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  • No matter where the nickname comes from, it is important that the person who gets nicknamed consents to its use. It would be kind of wild to just randomly call someone by a name they dislike purely because you can't pronounce/don't understand the name they prefer to go by. 

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    AITA for telling my classmates that I don't want an "American name"

    Hi so basically I'm a Irish dude who recently moved to America for a year or so and basically when I introduced myself to my new American classmates they all decided that my name Ciarán is too hard to spell/ pronounce so they all collectively decided to give me a "American name". Practically everyone has started to call me "Connor" instead of my actual name and it starting to
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    me off. I have told them many times that I actually don't mind if they pronounce/spell/remember it wrong just as long as there calling me by my ACTUAL NAME. Then even a few teachers are calling me Connor and I get a lil ped off and tell everybody if they could please just call me Ciarán as polite as I possibly can. Everyone told me I was being dramatic and have started to call
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    me even other names just to annoy me. Like Caleb or Cade. Every time I bring up wanting to be called my actual name they all roll there eyes and give me snarky comments. Of course I do like my classmates and there all nice but it does slightly me off. Am I being overdramatic or do I have a fair point??
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    AdelleDeWitt ⚫ 21h ago Edited 21h ago A hole Aficionado [17] NTA and they are being ridiculous. That is the name that I gave my child and not only did people easily figure it out, but we met lots of other people with the same name in the US.
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    No one gets to rename you. There is no such thing as an American name. What they are doing is disrespectful and offensive. People can learn a new name. It's not that hard. (Now my daughter has a name that really baffles Americans because there is a séimhiú in it. She says her name, people ask her to spell it, and she's like yeah that's not going to help, lol. But they still learn it!)
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    It also opens up a lot of cool conversations. When we were in Hawai'i, some older ladies asked her about her name and she started explaining séimhiús and the Irish language and, the ladies were like, "Endangered indigenous language from a colonized island? Yes!" They spent hours talking to her about Irish history and Hawaiian history and indigenous solidarity and how important it is that when her mom talks to her in Irish, she answers in Irish and not English. They also emphasized that when peop
    via AdelleDeWitt
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    Wakenbacon05 • 21h ago This . This scenario would easily be an HR situation in the working world. If a teacher is doing it too, its very clearly also an HR situation they could be reprimanded for. However going to HR isnt going to earn you any friends, i would just yalk with the teacher and let them know how you
    via Wakenbacon05
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    feel and ask that they support you in front of the class. If that doesnt work then f em go to HR or whoever is responsible on campus for this stuff. If they tell you the same thing then talk to a lawyer. Just bc people are supposed to be professional doesnt mean they are. That also doesn't mean they just get to do whatever tf they want.
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    Numerous-Success5719 • 20h ago This scenario would easily be an HR situation in the working world. Yeah, I'm sitting here thinking that this was a specific example given in the mandatory training I have to do every year. I work with a lot of people all over the world and we're expected to at the very least make an effort to correctly pronounce names.
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    Wakenbacon05 • 20h ago For real. Global companies don't f around with this stuff. It's fine if you get the name wrong, but you cant decide to call someone whatever you want. I understand classmates/kids being immature, but the teacher should be nailing expectations down immediately.
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    Houston970 • 19h ago Same. I was in a meeting last year where we all had to introduce ourselves by stating our name and a "fun fact" (which I hate - the fun fact part, not the name part) and one of my coworkers who is Indian said his name. One of the leaders of the meeting said "oh that's too hard! I'm gonna call you DAVE!" and everyone else at the table looked at him in horror. There was even an audible gasp
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    and the other leader said "you can't do that, his name is...". We have a zillion trainings year round and this situation is in a lot of them. In his defense, he was newer to the company and maybe he used to work with or was raised by wolves or rabid dogs, but you can't just rename someone because you're too dumb to figure it out. Also Ciaran isn't hard to pronounce and it's not a lot of syllables where someone could get tripped up.
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    rocklifter ⚫21h ago And don't respond to anyone until they use your actual name. This is beyond r_de and ridiculous.
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    IllustriousPart3803 • 20h ago That's exactly what I did when I lived in the US as a child. My name is easy for Americans, but it's a double-barreled name (like Mary Jane). It happens wherever I've lived (US, England, Canada), but I had one particular teacher in the US, who refused to respect my name. I eventually started to ignore her when she called me "Mary."
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    zooj7809 • 20h ago Also, he should start calling people random names but with the same first letter. Name is jack? Call them james cuz jack is hard to pronounce. Let them have a taste of their own stupidity
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    • anchorPT73 ⚫ 20h ago Or start using Irish versions of their name
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    MichaSound ⚫ 20h ago Bring back the séimhiú! (For those wondering, it's a single dot over a letter that changes the sound - for example m séimhiú is pronounced like an English 'v'. It doesn't appear in modern standardised Irish, as it was phased out because it didn't appear on typewriters. It's been replaced by wedging 'h' into words instead, so you get spellings like Sadhbh (pronounced Sive))
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    KAZ--2Y5 20h ago • My mom used to tell me about a teacher she had that pronounced her last name wrong every single time they took attendance, and she corrected them every time. The one day that she didn't say anything, another student corrected the teacher on her behalf! It is so important to respect people's names.
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    oresearch69 • 20h ago Agreed. OP, as a Gàidhlig cousin who has moved to the US, you should feel proud of your name, and don't let anyone else - other pupils or teachers - misname you. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself because you are in the right. They need to change for you, not the other way around.
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    candyapplecauldron • 20h ago if these kids can pronounce names like Tchaikovsky and Nietzsche, they can learn to pronounce Ciarán
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    iceblnklck ⚫ 21h ago Part ipant [1] NTA. To paraphrase Hasan Minhaj, people can say Jake Gyllenhaal so Ciarán shouldn't be the name to struggle on. It's a mark of respect to learn how to say someone's name so you're absolutely right to refuse.
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    I say this as someone with a surname that people correct the pronunciation of, like I don't know my own name Does the name not exist in the US at all?!? I would have thought they at least had the anglicised 'Kieran' if not Ciarán itself.
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    PurpleMarsAlien • 21h ago Craptain [168] Yes the name exists in the US. I knew several Ciarán/Kieran growing up in Chicago.
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    WhimsicalKoala • 21h ago Yep, most people have probably seen a movie with Kieran Culkin in it (his older brother is more famous, but Kieran has been making his mark lately)
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    Standard Nerd92 21h ago Is Ciarán pronounced differently to Kieran?
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    • [deleted] OP ⚫ 21h ago Nope that's what so surprising to me I assumed that it was not that uncommon in the US
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